ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
