Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
