K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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