He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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