so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
