My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
