Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
