Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Randomize
