Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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