She's JV to your varsity
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
