I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
The beer is more important than you right now.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
