Nicole vs. Life
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Randomize
