it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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