This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
