I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize