I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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