i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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