Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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