On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
