they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
