My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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