so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
