Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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