I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
