your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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