I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I just had sex on a roof
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
