So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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