I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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