You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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