Acid is not a monday night drug
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
