no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
