its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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