She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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