I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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