she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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