Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize