Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Randomize
