I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
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