Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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