Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
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if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
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On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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