Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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