I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
