i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
