You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
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