Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
