You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
