so explain again why im purple
no
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
