I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
