Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
