THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
