it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
