she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
