I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
